The Overlap.
“If our life was a Vien diagram our marriage would be the only overlap.”
My husband said that to me once when we were backstage at an event for my previous career. I laughed looking around at the artists preparing for the next showcase, while the audience sat waiting in the front, sipping champagne and eating appetizers.
I thought of that again this morning as I was making pancakes for our kids. Our son was talking to my husband, who is half a world away.
“What did you do today, Daddy?” he asked, his nose scrunching up as he squirmed in his seat.
“Nothing much,” my husband replied. “I worked out, and did a few meetings. We’re trying to rent a yacht, but we can’t find the right one to get.”
“What’s a yacht?” my son asked, pushing himself up in the chair, and resting his chin on his elbow.
“It’s a fancy boat.” I answered without thinking, as a flipped the pancakes sizzling in the frying pan. “Wait,” I said, turning around the spatula frozen in midair “Why are you renting a yacht?”
“Just for work stuff.” he answered nonchalantly.
“Babe! You’re renting a yacht?” I asked again laughing at the absurdity of what I was hearing on this Thursday morning. My husband is the last person I would imagine setting foot on a yacht, let alone renting one.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s just a silly work thing.” my husband’s voice was playful.
Our son looked from me to the phone, clearly not understanding what was happening.
I shook my head and returned to the pancakes on the stove.
“OH Dada!” I said, going back to my flipping, marveling at the other life he was living when he had to say goodbye to us.
“OH Dada!” repeated our son, smiling at the phone.
The only overlap is our marriage, this secret world that we have created that consists of the five of us and our abnormally large dog, nestled in a fixer upper near the shores of the Puget Sound. Sometimes it feels like the overlap is small, and we have to protect it with everything in our arsenal. Sometimes it’s bigger, and I wonder what else we will do with this life we have built. But it’s always there. The overlap.